July 1, 2008

bitch-face.

i'm trying something new. i don't know what to call it. something like 'bitch on wheels', 'girl with a devil-may-care attitude' - along those lines anyway.

i am sick and tired of caring so much about what other people think! i spend probably 95% of my life, my time, worrying about what my parents think, what my grandparents think, what my boss thinks, what my coworkers think, what my boyfriend thinks, what my friends think. and you know what? it's exhausting.

i figure that the amount of time that all of those people spend worrying about how i feel? i would guess less than 0.1%. not that any of them are bad people - they're really not - i just think that i spend a disproportionate amount of time thinking about what other people want/need/feel - and i tend to attract people that like that in other people. (i think that makes sense)

i don't think that i've always been this way. i used to not care/think about other people much. i was a huge bitch in high school - in the sense that everyone knew my name and what i was about. but me? totally oblivious. i see people from high school all the time these days, and it's not like i just don't remember their names - i never knew them. that makes me feel bad. but not anymore!

so yeah, a new me? maybe. like i said, i'm just tired of being tired. tired of being sad and feeling lonely. so it seems i need to restructure my thinking. i'll keep you posted.

in other news: new header coming tonight! it fits the theme of telling a random fact about me. happy july 1st everyone you.


rawr. the new (fierce) me. well, that's actually an old picture - but you 'get the picture'.

2 comments:

Emily said...

Are you implying that I'm the only one that reads this?

Abby said...

I read too!