August 25, 2008

now with more cleaning power!

i'm back!

i've decided not to be sorry about not posting for....well, about a month. this is my blog, dangit, and hardly anyone reads it anyway - but I spend so much time hemming and hawing over what to write, and if what i write will come back to bit me in the ass butt later in life, and if what i'm writing is funny or witty - it really ruins the whole point! i started this blog to get my thoughts and feelings down and out (down onto something and out of me, that is), and i need to start doing just that.

so if you are annoyed that i never post - tough. and if you're someone later in life that's trying to dig up some dirt on me so you can not hire me/fire me/ laugh at me - suck it.

onward and upward!

good news:

i got a new job (it's awesome), a new haircut (pretty cute), i'm no longer pregnant (good? i guess?), and i have some new things in my life that are making me happy.

1. a roomba! i love this little guy. he runs all around my house, making noise and bumping into things, but when he's done it's clean! Also, Bean follows him around like a best friend. not only does he clean - he plays with the cat! seriously folks, i love this thing. I've also noticed Mr. Roomba encourages me to be more productive. He's like "Hey you, i'm running around this place cleaning up your $h!# right now - why don't you get off your fat ass lazy bum and put away the laundry/do the dishes/write a blog post? you know, since i'm cleaning anyway." it's brilliant - I feel like i'm multitasking.

2. a nintendo DS. I have a cooking game, zelda, a mystery game, a medical game - everything i could ever want! I don't have nearly enough time to play this thing, but it was the best b-day present ever (from the boy). good for relaxing (or as close as I ever come to relaxing).

3. a flatiron. who knew that these things could make my hair cute? i certainly didn't. i'm in love.

4. various household organizers. i started this "organizing my life" process about a week ago, and got something to organize my makeup/jewelry/endless bobby pins, and a bunch of other stuff. next - shoes! I'm thinking something like this, but cheaper. ideas?

in other news:

i've gained about 10 pounds, but i'm giving myself a break. my clothes still fit, and as soon as I have more time i will start working out again. also, i think i'm dropping out of school. it's too much work right now with the new job and some other freelance work I'm doing, and the teachers this semester kinda suck. maybe i'll go back next year? but hey! more time to take a yoga class (or a pole-dancing one).

on the emotional front:

i'm still pretty shaken up about this whole past month. a lot of changes are taking place, and i'm having to make a lot of grown up decisions, which is always scary.

i just recently realized that my whole life i've been convinced that being happy will bring about disaster. like, if i just relax and breathe and believe/feel/know that everything is ok - someone will die, or my apartment will burn down, or something. going through life always expecting the worst isn't really all that fun (i'm realizing). it's also going to be a hard mental block/emotion/belief to overcome - because risking feeling 'safe' means that i'm tempting fate, and the entire belief structure that i've known for 24 years. anyway, it's hard to explain, but i'm working through it which i think is good...

ok, Mr. Roomba and me I are tired. time for some sleep...

gratuitous (old) picture of Bean. i keep it on my desk and smile every time i see it.