June 11, 2008

doctor visits.

i saw my med doctor today. i've been going to a pain clinic in the twin cities for over 6 months now to deal with ongoing jaw pain issues, migraines, and depression. i see a therapist, a physical therapist, and a medication-doctor/neurologist. i used to see a nurse practitioner as well (who just happens to be the neurologist's wife), but she annoyed the hell out of me didn't work out. so now it's down to the three, and i love my therapist and physical therapist. they are the glue that holds me together on the days when the migraines seem like they really could kill me, or i can't open my mouth far enough to take a bite of my salad at lunch. however, this med guy is a whole different story...

i'm not going to name names, so lets call him hobbit-man. He looks a bit like a hobbit, combined with a weasel. don't get me wrong - i'm sure he's a very nice hobbit-man. he always smiles at me, seems very intelligent, and i've never wondered about the quality of care that i'm getting. my beef is more personality-based i guess. you know that gut tickle that you get about people - the one that's pretty hard to shake, (at least for me)? well, he's like a feather-duster to my gut.

the grievances:

  • he's always at least a half an hour late to my appointment, even when i'm the first appointment of the day.
  • he uses really big words, and i always feel like he's talking down to me. he makes me feel like a petulant child when i want to change my meds, or bring up a new complication that i'm having.
  • he makes me nervous. so nervous that i usually forget what i went in there for - leading to more internal eye-rolling from him. (ok, maybe i'm making up the eye rolling - but the guy just seems annoyed, ok?)
  • no matter how many times i politely tell him that i no longer see his wife, he tries to get me to reschedule with her. he also asks why i'm not seeing her - what are you supposed to say to that? because she drives me crazy with her unnecessary head nodding and doesn't listen to a word i say? i think not.
  • he also tells me that i should exercise every day, at every appointment, even though i exercise a perfectly reasonable three times a week. he then tells me all about how he rides his exercycle every morning for 15 minutes. while that's great for him - i really, really don't need that mental image every. single. appointment.
ok, moral of the story - i don't like going to see hobbit-man. i don't like it so much, that i hardly ever go. which means that my meds don't get checked often, or well, in my opinion. i take lexapro for depression and maxalt for migraines, and lately the combination of them makes me sound like i'm having a stroke (can't find words, slurred speech, etc) - so he cut my lexapro dose down a bit, so hopefully that will help? i also feel like i'm in a coma tired almost all of the time. this is really cutting down on lots of things, like productivity at work, creativity for school, my ability to think of fun blog posts, you name it. it hasn't done wonders for my sex drive either. truth be told, i'd rather be off the meds completely, but because of a fun little mental-hospital incident a month or so back (which I'll write about soon enough), I'm sucking it up and taking them for now.

going to the doctor at least once a week is quite spendy too, as you might imagine. i can't wait for the day when i can put that $100+ a month in my pocket, or put it towards some of the things on my wish list (like a roomba!).

other things on my mind include: starting my own business/freelance work instead of this sit at a desk job. i've been reading the anti 9-5 guide, and loving it, so hopefully that can get my started. schoolwork, as usual, and what to have for dinner tonight. i really want chinese food, but can't find anywhere in minneapolis that delivers! why, minneapolis, why? in ithaca I could get all the food i wanted delivered - pizza, chinese, thai, dessert, you name it. minneapolis - pizza. it's freaking cold here, not to mention the hail and tornadoes lately - why don't more people deliver? i guess that's a business idea for me.....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I think it's important to listen to your instincts - which it sounds like they are telling you this guy is not the right doc for you. If it's possible, maybe you could get a different doctor.

I'm sorry for what you are dealing with.

I was on depression meds once - and I was nonfuncitonal because I was so tired - and I gained weight.

It was hard to get off of them - but I'm SO glad I did.

My problem though turned out to be hormonal. And now I see a great gynecologist who has me on progesterone - which is natural so there's not bad side affects. And my depression has almost vanished.